Is sleep training right for me?
How can I sleep train my child if I can’t stand to hear crying?
Babies and toddlers cry for many reasons. Just because your child is crying does not always mean they need to be saved. Think about a scenario where it would be “acceptable” to allow your child to cry. Let me paint a picture for you. Your child is 1. He just started walking. He reaches up and grabs something off the table that was left just a little too close to the edge. He decides it is a new toy. You look and notice they are scissors. You take them away promptly and tell him absolutely not and they are dangerous. He begins to cry in protest. “But mom, he wanted those scissors! Why would you let him cry?” Do you give them back because that is what your baby wanted? Or do you stand firm and say that you are sorry but you cannot play with scissors?
Tears are one of a child’s first forms of communication. They don’t yet know our language but they have a universal one that works quite well. Crying. We are then given the task of learning their language as well as teaching them ours. Cries sound different during times of stress than they do usually during times of frustration or protest. You will learn this as your child grows and as you begin to listen closely.
Sleep training or sleep coaching your child is something that you are doing for your child. You are helping them achieve another lifelong skill, like walking and talking. Sometimes babies get frustrated when they can’t reach a toy or crawl or if they keep falling when trying to walk. This can bring on tears, but children need to make mistakes to learn how to perfect something. We are here to support to give love and cuddles and encouraging words, but we can’t walk for them. We also can’t sleep for them (if only).
Sleep training is not about your baby crying. It is about your baby learning how to fall asleep independently. It may take some work and a few tears (by mom too), but it is a skill worth teaching that the whole family will benefit from. When I sleep trained my daughter I knew it was the right thing to do, but I felt so helpless. I wanted to be sure she was okay. I couldn’t just leave her to cry! I found a balance that worked with my comfort level in order to teach my daughter that amazing skill and now she tells me she loves me and blows me kisses when I walk out the door. It was worth every tear for that. I get to have time for myself and my spouse, and she gets rest. If she isn’t tired enough to fall asleep immediately, she will play or just roll around to get comfy. Wouldn’t it be amazing to be able to put your child down, say goodnight and walk away?
If you feel ready to make that jump to finally sleeping again, check out my services and let’s get you some rest!
xx Melanie
